September 13, 2012

WARNING: If you disagree with what I am about to say. Then please do not comment. This is how I feel, so don’t judge me. If you are offended, I am deeply sorry.

A lot of people say that physical abuse is worse than emotional abuse, and for a long time I agreed with those people. But now come to think of it, I believe that emotional abuse is just as bad as physical abuse (and I am not talking about sexual abuse).

I live with an emotional abuser, and have lived with him since I was born. I knew people who were physically abused and you saw the symptoms of neglect. Not just the bruises on the body, but the mental bruises; the ones that scar you for the rest of your life. I always thought that physical abuse was worse, and I offered compassion for those people I knew.

But I am now starting to see the side effects of emotional abuse in my life. And it scares me.

Sin is sin. You can’t say one is worse than the other. Can you compare apples and oranges?ย They are fruit.
Even though one is a citrus fruit, it is still fruit.
You throw two men in a prison cell; one murdered his girlfriend, the other stole 2 million dollars. People would probably say that the murderer is the one in more sin.

But he’s not.

For in the Bible, in the Ten Commandments, it says you shall not murder, AND you shall not steal.

You can’t say one is worse.

The only way to let go of abuse, physical or emotional, is by giving it to God. Just giving Him all the hurt and the past, and He will renew your Spirit.
I have seen people who have been abused both physically and mentally, and they have not let go of their past, they still are victims. That’s why we assume that physical abuse is worse. Because a lot of physical abuse victims can’t let their past go.

Also the symptoms of emotional and physical abuse are the same:

Women who have been physically abused tend to have a fear of men.

I have a fear of men. Not because I was physically abused, but because the person I have lived with has conditioned me to have a fear of them. I can’t talk to an adult male without fearing them in a way.

People who get physically abused usually are socially awkward, and they do not like the public.

For the longest time I did not like talking to people. Until my friend helped me get over that fear. I had to let go of the past.

People who get physically abused usually have trust issues.

I have major trust issues, especially with men.

 

What you have to do is be honest with yourself. Accept your flaws. Tell yourself you are NOT a victim, and move on.

I am trying to move on. I want to let go of the past completely so I can look forward to my future with no fear of the past haunting me.
So I am praying daily, telling myself Scriptures so I can start BELIEVING them.

I am worth it. I am a good person. I am loved.

 

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11 thoughts on “September 13, 2012

  1. I am so sorry for your situation, but it does sound like you are on the path to recovery. Thank you for following my blog. I hope that I write things of interest for you. ๐Ÿ™‚ Keep up the good work.

  2. You are doing the right thing: Let go…and let God! I agree with your words. I have not been a victim but definitely have known friends who were mentally, emotionally abused. The scars are not on the outside: they are those that pierce the heart.

  3. Esther, after reading this I like you even more than I already did! Thank you for your kind words on my blog a while ago! I couldn’t agree more with everything you have said! I’m so glad to see you being able to put your trust in God! He will take care of you and everything that happens in your life is in His control. Take care, and may the love of God surround you! ๐Ÿ™‚

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