April 10, 2013

Oh the heart ache….
Oh my heart..
My poor, poor heart.
To see someone you can’t touch
To love someone you can’t reach…
They seem so close
When in reality they are not.
The distance seems of that of the sun
And you are all alone in this large universe..
Lonely star… She will be together with the sun again.
For now all she can do us cry upon the Earth…
My poor heart…
Love is such a curse
One that I am willing to pay
But when will the pain stop.
There is no cure for this curse
You are my only cure
And I can’t….
I can’t get.. to.. you
Oh this curse…
It is worth it just to have you by my side for eternity.. But when will I be in your arms once more..



January 13, 2012

What do you do…
When your heart is torn in two.
When you want to follow your heart,
but your brain isn’t letting you make a start.

What do you do…
When your heart is torn in two
follow the ways of the wise
or go down a path of what could be my demise

What do you do…
When your heart is torn in two
continue in a life from the past
or have a love that will forever last.

What do you do…
When your heart is torn in two
settle down your growing fears
or fight for what you love for many years.

What do you do…




Is it possible? To lose faith, and have hope.
How can you have one without the other?
Hope is a long-lasting faith. Faith is a feeling.
When you reach the point to where nothing makes sense,
and you want to lose faith.
Is hope the back up?
The emergency tank
The life support.

Because if so, I am on life support.
I can barely breathe,
I am strapped down by burdens,
barely holding on to my life.
My heart monitor is beeping- beeping-
Slowly- slowly-
When will it pick up?
Or will it just stop.

September 10, 2012

I wish I could fly,
fly high into the skies
No one can see me cry.
If I could soar into the skies,
My tears would fall-
on to the Earth
my tears become rain
my pain, flooding the Earth.

I wish I could fly,
fly high into the skies
No one will see my cry.
I will sit on the clouds
and watch people walking by
they can’t see me up in the sky.

I wish I could fly
fly high into the skies
no one will see me cry.
See that I’m dying inside-
See me take a deep breath and sigh,
I’ll fly until I will touch the stars

I wish I could fly,
fly high into the skies
no one can see me cry.
See that a part of me wants to die
Down there, my tears are a weakness,
no one can see that I am a mess,
Outside I smile and lie
Saying I am fine.

I wish I could fly,
fly high into the skies
no one will see me cry
I feel the wind rushing down my back
While soaring I close my eyes
and something in me dies.

Copyright, Esther Star 2012

The Waiting Game

The Waiting Game

By Esther Brincat

It is called The Waiting Game,
They take who you love
And point the finger towards you to blame,
They take who you love.

They call it The Waiting Game,
Men and women play it,
From your heart, they pick a name
And your heart skips a bit.

One man played it for fourteen years,
After getting tricked and deceived
After many nights filled with tears
He finally won her, he finally achieved.

They call it The Waiting Game
They separate lovers from the heart
A relationship that used to once be tame-
Ruined what they used to have in the start.

A girl waited for decades
Making mistake upon mistake along the way,
Her heart felt like a grenade,
Those mistakes made her pay.

Not everyone wins in The Waiting Game,
Some lose hope and quit,
Their lives are never the same
Breaking her heart and throwing it in a pit.

A rare few win The Waiting Game,
Lovers love even though they are apart
Keeping that old flame,
Their love lighting a spark,

When you’re in The Waiting Game
You have to keep fighting
And yet no one is the same,
You have to keep trying.

They will destroy your soul
Rape your mind,
Stop you from reaching your goal
The only thing that is on your mind.

Stay strong in The Waiting Game,
Wait things out,
Don’t reach the point of shame
Never have doubt
Never let them win
The Waiting Game.


I Remember…

My Love:

I remember you holding me tight. Telling me everything is going to be alright. I remember holding your hand and feeling the cold go away. I remember you kissing the top of my head, and I felt safe. I remember you telling me that you would miss me. I remember you leaving…

My Sister:

I remember your laugh. You would giggle when I would make a funny face. I remember reading to you until you fell asleep, and tucking you in bed and you tell me I am the best sister in the world.

My Mama:

I remember you holding to me and singing to me. I remember you carrying me on your hip and singing in Spanish until I would giggle and I would dance with you.  I remember you reading to me before bed, and I remember you teaching us how to read and write. I remember your smile even though there was pain. But you still kept your head up for us.

My Older Brother:

I remember walking every day to a school. Talking about everything in between. I remember late night conversations. I remember telling you my darkest secrets, my fears and worries. I remember you making me laugh and making me smile. I remember the comfort of knowing that we will never be apart.

My Lost Sister:

I remember looking at you and knowing that we were going to be best friends. I remember telling you everything. I remember the times you would call me scared and I would comfort you and let you know everything was going to be fine. I remember being silly with you. I remember the fun summer when we went to the lake. I remember crying when I found out that I lost you. I remember knowing in my heart that I will see you again one day.

My Bodyguard:

I remember feeling safe in your arms. I remember building puzzles with you, and when you would joke around with us. I remember you carrying me on your shoulders and I felt like an eagle. I remember target shooting with you, and you telling me about your childhood. I remember when you started getting down. I remember the safe arms grow weaker every day…