May 1st, 2014

They say, “Why do you sleep so much
Look at you, it’s 2pm
You’re so thin, why don’t you eat enough”
Is it a sin, to sleep as much as I do
For I dream and I dream a lot,
One time I met God
and I told him to back from me
Because my life is a tragedy
I don’t want to injure him..
In my life I’m not a hero-
When I dream
I am the hero-
I save lives and do everything
that I need to be in this life
But instead I grab a knife
and try to plant it inside myself
because being a hero here
means to sell yourself..
And I don’t want to be like them
So that means to put an end
to anything that differs from normality
My dreams
let me be strong, I can run forever
Once I climbed a mountain
I almost touched the clouds

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The Melody in My Head

This melody in my head is a beggar struggling to the end..
This melody in my head
Keeps me up at night while in my bed
Death, death what a melody
A sorrowful song wanting to be set free.
No, I am not afraid
You lurk near my bed
Near the tears I shed
Death, I am not afraid.
I’ve seen you some days
But you haven’t taken me away
Just keep playing your melody
And maybe this time I can dream

April 10, 2013

Oh the heart ache….
Oh my heart..
My poor, poor heart.
To see someone you can’t touch
To love someone you can’t reach…
They seem so close
When in reality they are not.
The distance seems of that of the sun
And you are all alone in this large universe..
Lonely star… She will be together with the sun again.
For now all she can do us cry upon the Earth…
My poor heart…
Love is such a curse
One that I am willing to pay
But when will the pain stop.
There is no cure for this curse
You are my only cure
And I can’t….
I can’t get.. to.. you
Oh this curse…
It is worth it just to have you by my side for eternity.. But when will I be in your arms once more..

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February 7, 2012

What can you do?

You live in two lives.

Your own

and in someone else’s

Always following some one else’s shoes.

But you hate it, you want to live your own life. You think it is about time. Even though it seems impossible. Outlandish.

But this little girl had to grow up

This little girl had to grow up before they started throwing stones . and now that she is up, she runs, but after running; you want to fly.

She wants to stop running- she wants to fly.

But she can’t fly….

A bird speaks to her,

tells her to follow him

The bird begs her to follow, she watches him fly and she longs to join him.

How long will it be,

I hate to say this…

But do you know how everyone is dying for a movie relationship??

Well once you have one, you would love to run back to your imperfect relationship. There is nothing wrong with one of those. At least you get to see them and even though you fight and he sleeps on the couch for the night. The next day you make him dinner to make up for it.

Even if he doesn’t live with you…

You ignore the messages, you cry alone in bed, you avoids him at school. But then he says, “I’m sorry.” And everything is fine.

It’s a fucked up life you have

But it’s perfect in an imperfect way.

I have a relationship like a movie…

And I rather have a normal one.

I’m 16 and in love with a guy who just left for the Air Force.

I won’t see him in forever.. Or hear from him every day like a usual couple.

And just like the movies he will come back some day and we will get married and be happy.

And even though I want that, I just wish I didn’t have to miss him so terribly…

Like Dear John, The Notebook, and all those other stupid movies.

Be happy you can call him, say I love you every day, and even  argue for a bit.

 

January 13, 2012

What do you do…
When your heart is torn in two.
When you want to follow your heart,
but your brain isn’t letting you make a start.

What do you do…
When your heart is torn in two
follow the ways of the wise
or go down a path of what could be my demise

What do you do…
When your heart is torn in two
continue in a life from the past
or have a love that will forever last.

What do you do…
When your heart is torn in two
settle down your growing fears
or fight for what you love for many years.

What do you do…

 

COPYRIGHT 2012

December 23, 2012

Sleep within me dies-
my mind in mental ties
bonds that not even I can break.
Yet, my sanity is at stake
but my poor heart cannot take,
these images I see when I dream.
Things are not as they seem
For my soul is living when I dream,
and when I wake,
I cannot shake
the fear that slithers into my mind
and it taunts at me to find
the answer to its horrible crime.
So I stay awake
for my soul’s sake
because I cannot endure to wake
to another night of heartache
And to fear I give my mind to take.

 

COPYRIGHT 2012

October 14, 2012

I feel guilty. I haven’t been posting as much as I have wanted to lately. But I have been busy!

I work more hours now (Yay!)

I have been performing at a coffee house up the road from me. It opened a couple of months ago and now they have open mic nights every Friday. So I go there and read some poetry or sing. 🙂

I have worked on my homework. (Which I need to do.)

I am spending my fall making memories,

and I have been thinking.

I think A LOT. I believe I think too much. Sometimes it is a good thing and sometimes it is a bad thing. The other day I was thinking about words.

I decided to do a test on myself. For a couple of days I chose not to say but only a few words. I spoke unless I was spoken too. I noticed that I was more at peace with myself. Words are not necessary for certain moments. These days there are people who don’t know that. They can’t keep quiet.

When our words are lessened, our burdens lighten.